Back when I was a kid there was this soundtrack for the Pokemon cartoon that had a whole bunch of songs that were supposedly from the show. I certainly don’t remember hearing any of them, but that was okay because the soundtrack was pretty catchy. One of those songs was called “What Kind of Pokemon Are You?” and posing that very question was the whole premise of the song. Well it popped into my head earlier so I thought it would be fun to take a quiz in the spirit of the song.
This quiz will be to decide your Pokemon type! Now there are a total of 18 different types in the current generation of Pokemon, so that’s a lot of possibilities. Luckily, I was able to sum it up with just one multiple choice question. So let’s get started!
Question #1: What kind of Pokemon are you?
1 – Normal
2 – Grass
3 – Water
4 – Fire
5 – Electric
6 – Flying
7 – Bug
8 – Fighting
9 – Poison
10 – Rock
11 – Ground
12 – Ghost
13 – Psychic
14 – Ice
15 – Dragon
16 – Steel
17 – Dark
18 – Fairy
Alright, now time to discuss the results. Whichever answer you chose is the type of Pokemon you are! It’s that easy! If you liked this post, be sure to share it with your friends, and be sure to check out Adventure Rules on social media. It was great to talk to you guys, see ya tomorrow.
Gosh, wouldn’t it be awful if that were the real thing? Don’t worry adventurers, that’s not the actual quiz. Just a bit of a joke. The real quiz is going to consist of nineteen questions. I know, it’s a lot, but don’t worry, I believe in you, adventurers, you can do this!
Question One: Would your friends describe you as normal?
– Of course I’m normal!
– Normal is just the Man’s way of regulating society
Question Two: Are you allergic to mowed grass?
– Ugh, that stuff makes my eyes water like a faucet!
– No…who’s allergic to that?
Question Three: Do you know how to swim?
– Like Michael Phelps, amigo
– I sink like a Snorlax
Question Four: Would you describe yourself as a pyromaniac?
– WHO TOLD YOU? I mean, uh, I guess so, sure
– Nah, fire makes me sweaty
Question Five: Does your house have electricity?
– Only because I need the internet
– Psh, no, I live off the grid, man
Question Six: If a bird pooped on you, what would you do?
– Not overreact, it’s just a fluke of nature, everybody poops
Question Seven: How do you feel about spiders?
– I feel like Andrew Garfield definitely outdid Toby Maguire
– NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE
Question Eight: Do you know karate?
– Yep, and a bunch of other dangerous words like “stab” and “bullet”
– Does watching Spongebob count?
Question Nine: Have you ever worked as a poison tester?
– *I can’t answer because I died from poisoned food*
– No, I was born after the year 435
Question Ten: How many skips can you produce by skipping a rock?
– I skipped a rock around the whole planet once
– I’m lucky to get one, tbh
Question Eleven: How often do you lay on the ground?
– Every time I get tired
– The ground is disgusting, just like kittens and sloths
Question Twelve: Have you ever haunted anybody?
– Yep, mostly the dreams of my ex-lovers
– Not yet, but you’ll be the first for making this awful quiz
Question Thirteen: What is the answer to Question Fifteen?
– Obviously the first option is the answer
– How am I supposed to know that?
Question Fourteen: Do you like playing in the snow?
– Only when it means I can throw it at people
– Much like the mailman in Hey Arnold, I hate the snow
Question Fifteen: Are dragons more scared of mosquitoes or leeches?
– Obviously the first option is the answer
– How am I supposed to know that?
Question Sixteen: Which legendary metal is more durable?
Question Seventeen: Are you afraid of the dark?
– Yes, ever since I was 19
– No. The dark is afraid of me
Question Eighteen: Do you believe in fairies?
– I do! I do!
– If I say no will that bimbo Tinkerbell finally die?
Question Nineteen: Are you a Pokemon?
– I wish I was, but alas, I am not
– Psh, no, and I’m happy about it!
The quiz is finally over, and now it’s time to discuss the results. First, look at question nineteen. If you answered either the first or second option, you are actually a person and are not a Pokemon at all. So the other eighteen questions don’t reflect anything about your Pokemon typing.
Okay, okay, at this point some of you are probably experiencing legitimate feelings of hatred for me. But seriously, there still is a quiz here. Third time’s the charm, so this quiz has to be legitimate. No fake outs, no goofing off, just me asking you questions to decide your Pokemon typing.
Each question will ask you to pick between two options. Based on what option you choose, you’ll be redirected to another question. Just keep going, following directions until you get to the end.
Question One: Do you prefer physical attacks or special attacks?
– Physical; proceed to Question Two
– Special; proceed to Question Six
Question Two: Is your lifestyle closer to a living creature or to an inanimate object?
– Living Creature; proceed to Question Three
– Inanimate Object; proceed to Question Nine
Question Three: Would you describe yourself as a human being or a wild animal?
– Human Being; proceed to Question Four
– Wild Animal; proceed to Question Eleven
Question Four: Are you alive or dead?
– Alive; proceed to Question Five
– Dead; proceed to Result One
Question Five: Do you consider yourself toned and strong, or rather average?
– Toned; proceed to Result Two
– Average; proceed to Result Three
Question Six: Does your power come from natural elements or supernatural forces?
– Nature; proceed to Question Seven
– Supernatural; proceed to Question Twelve
Question Seven: Would you describe your power as warm or cool?
– Warm; proceed to Question Eight
– Cool; proceed to Question Fourteen
Question Eight: Does your power flash suddenly or crackle steadily?
– Flash Suddenly; proceed to Result Four
– Crackle Steadily; proceed to Result Five
Question Nine: Do you rely on tools or on your own power in battle?
– Tools; proceed to Question Ten
– My Own Power; proceed to Question Fifteen
Question Ten: Is your approach direct or subtle?
– Direct; proceed to Result Six
– Subtle; proceed to Result Seven
Question Eleven: Do others see you as beautiful or disturbing?
– Beautiful; proceed to Result Eight
– Disturbing; proceed to Result Nine
Question Twelve: Are you a supernatural being, or do you simply command forces beyond this world?
– Being; proceed to Question Thirteen
– Command Forces; proceed to Question Sixteen
Question Thirteen: Are you a creature to be feared or coveted?
– Feared; proceed to Result Ten
– Coveted; proceed to Result Eleven
Question Fourteen: Do you draw power from the land or the sea?
– Land; proceed to Result Twelve
– Sea; proceed to Question Seventeen
Question Fifteen: Are you a part of the earth or separate from it?
– Part of the Earth; proceed to Result Thirteen
– Separate from It; proceed to Result Fourteen
Question Sixteen: Does your power stem from your mind or from the fear of your enemies?
– From My Mind; proceed to Result Fifteen
– Fear of my Enemies; proceed to Result Sixteen
Question Seventeen: Are you strong yet fragile, or flexible yet persistent?
– Strong yet Fragile; proceed to Result Seventeen
– Flexible yet Persistent; proceed to Result Eighteen
Result One: Ghost – You are one of the rarest Pokemon types, with power over psychic and over other ghosts like yourself. Just watch out for the forces of darkness, because believe it or not, they’ve seen scarier things than you.
Result Two: Fighting – You’re a type of Pokemon with incredible offensive strength, able to tear apart normal types, dark types, steel types, rock types, and ice types with ease. Of course, it’s hard to reach enemies that can fly, and the psychic’s power of the mind will always overcome the power of your body.
Result Three: Normal – One of the most common Pokemon types, people tend to sleep on you. Your attacks can be powerful, and fighting type is your only real weakness. Just don’t mess with ghosts, because you lack the power to touch them.
Result Four: Electric – Pikachu! Actually, there are way more electric types, and like the rest of them you can easily overcome water and flying Pokemon. Your only weakness is ground, so be sure to watch out for enemies from the earth.
Result Five: Fire – One of three starter types, fire is rare and has the power to melt ice and steel while turning grass and bug to ash. Just be careful that water, rock, and ground types don’t douse your inner flame.
Result Six: Steel – When it comes to defense, no one can touch you. Your metallic strength easily overcomes rock, ice, and fairy. Just be careful around the fire, ground, and fighting types, because they can tear through your armor with ease.
Result Seven: Poison – Crafty and slow, you whittle your enemies down over time. This careful strategy is particularly effective against grass and fairy Pokemon, but ground and psychic types are wise to your clever tricks.
Result Eight: Flying – The sky is your domain, and you are able to fly circles around many other types. Fighting, grass, and bug all stand no chance against you. Just be careful about electric, rock, and ice – they can clip your wings with ease.
Result Nine: Bug – People always underestimate bugs, but though you start out small, once you’ve gone through your pupa stage you become something truly terrifying. Psychic, dark, and grass types fear you, but keep your eyes open for fire, rock, and flying type Pokemon.
Result Ten: Dragon – Considered by some to be the most powerful Pokemon type, you’ve got so much strength that even other dragons cower before you. Of course, ice can cool your fiery breath, and fairy Pokemon are just too darn charming for you to fight against.
Result Eleven: Fairy – The youngest type in the bunch, fairies are whimsical and fun but pack a punch that some might underestimate. Even mighty dragons fear fairies, as well as fighting and dark types. Just be careful about poison and steel Pokemon – these man-made forces overwhelm your magical cuteness.
Result Twelve: Grass – Plants and flowers may not seem intimidating, but they can overwhelm a civilization if given time and opportunity. You have the advantage against the forces of water, rock, and ground, but be wary: fire, flying, bug, poison, and ice all wield power over you.
Result Thirteen: Ground – You come from the earth itself, commanding the force of earthquakes and the bones of the fallen. Your power to sunder the land overcomes types like rock, steel, electric, and poison. However, water, grass, and ice can stop you in your tracks.
Result Fourteen: Rock – Not to be confused with ground, your strength comes from the land but you are separate from it. This gives you unique power over different types – bugs and flying types fear you, as well as fire and ice Pokemon. However, though your hide is strong, Pokemon of the steel, water, grass, ground, and fighting types all pose a threat to you.
Result Fifteen: Psychic – You command the power of the mind, using your brain to read the minds of others and cripple their wills. You anticipate the crafty methods of poison types and overwhelm the frail minds of fighting types, but the powers of bug, darkness, and ghost can overwhelm you.
Result Sixteen: Dark – You call on powers beyond yourself, upon the forces hidden in the dark. Even mighty enemies like ghosts and psychic Pokemon fear your insidious powers. But be wary, because the light of fairies, the strength of fighting, and the craftiness of bugs can stop your dark power in its tracks.
Result Seventeen: Ice – Beautiful, fragile, and cold, you have the power to chill many Pokemon to the bone. Grass, flying, even the mighty dragon all tremble before you awesome power. But with strength comes frailty; fire, rock, fighting, steel, all have the power to shatter you if given the opportunity.
Result Eighteen: Water – You flow through the sea in elegant patterns, yet smash against the land with pulverizing force. Your overwhelming persistence whittles down rocks, ground, and flame, but be wary of grass and electricity – they can stop your endless wave once and for all.
There you have it, folks, the real quiz! I know it wasn’t quite as glorious as the usual quizzes, but let’s face it – there are so many types in Pokemon – plus the possibility of dual types – that building a quiz around the idea is a pretty weighty proposition. If you had fun regardless of the fake quizzes, I commend you! I promise that tomorrow’s Fanfic Friday will be infinitely less troll-ish.