Super Debate Brothers: The Best Fantasy Race

It’s Tabletop Tuesday, and today we’re having a debate! Here’s how it works. I’ll present the topic and some potential arguments. At the end of the post, I’ll be including a straw poll where you can vote for your favorite. Clicking one answer on a multiple choice question will probably be more agreeable to you than having to comment with your opinion. Next time we have a debate, I’ll announce the results of this one.

Speaking of which, let’s have a drum roll for the winner of last week’s debate (pause for drum roll)): The Hero of Time! Yeah, when it comes to Links, the hero from Ocarina of Time and Majora’s Mask has a special place in many hearts. After all, he was the first Link to be in three dimensions, the first to become a grown man, and the first to appear in the Super Smash Bros franchise. Congratulations, Hero of Time!

Alright, now that nonsense is over, so let’s get to the debate!

The Premise: Dungeons and Dragons presents the player with a number of races to choose from. While this number is extended by half-breeds and by all of the content of the expanded universe, there are four main races that are series staples: humans, elves, dwarves, and halflings. Heck, these races are staples of pretty much every other fantasy related world. Each one has different play styles, unique characteristics, and unusual quirks.

The Question: Which classic fantasy race is the best?

The Arguments: I’ll present the points in favor of each possible answer, in order to help you make your decision. Be sure to vote for your favorite in the straw poll! I’ll post the results in the next edition of Super Debate Brothers.

Elves: Is your goal in life to be sexy and immortal? Whose isn’t! That’s why the elf race is so appealing. Living for hundreds of years while retaining virtually eternal youth, the elves are an ethereal and lovely people. They live artful and cultured lives in their forest cities, their elevated minds knowledgeable about everything from painting to literature to music to magic. Everything an elf does is beautiful, or cool, or both. Elves are somewhat frail but they make up for it with an extra dose of grace and agility. Do you hate having to sleep for eight hours a day? Well elves don’t sleep – they meditate in a trance for a period of four hours. That’s pretty awesome, especially since it means that elves are immune to sleeping magic. They’re also resilient when it comes to enchantments. Elves can see normally even in dim lighting, and their senses are so attuned that they reflexively notice things that many humans do not. Their inclinations towards learning and magic make elves into natural wizards, and who doesn’t like wizards? Elves are the coolest because they’re magical, beautiful, and refined.

Dwarves: Did the entire paragraph about elves sound frilly and stupid? Well then dwarves are probably more your speed! Dwarves think elves are haughty and flighty and want none of that artsy-fartsy business. Not that dwarves are artless – they have a great appreciation for metalwork and gems, and devote many resources to their great forges. Dwarves have intimate knowledge of stone and metal, allowing them to easily craft with it, determine its value or purpose, and even notice small details that others cannot see. They can even do this in the dark, as dwarves are capable of seeing even when there is no light at all. Dwarves are particularly hardy, their physical constitution keeping them strong and healthy while also allowing them to resist things like poison and magic. If a dwarf’s feet are planted on the ground, you’re not moving him or her anywhere. Dwarves are natural fighters and can learn the art of battle easily alongside any other skill that they may choose. Dwarves are cool because they’re strong, resilient craftsmen with a love for battle.

Halflings: Maybe this all sounds a little too stationary for you. Maybe you’re filled with wanderlust and the whole idea of staying in a big forest or cave just seems ridiculous. You need to be on the road, heading towards opportunity. Chances are, you’re a halfling. Halflings love to flit from place to place, taking advantage of new circumstances and new opportunities before flitting off somewhere else. Their small size makes them particularly agile, making things like climbing, running, and jumping come easily. Halflings have an uncanny ability to duck around danger, and this makes them effectively fearless. Add to that a natural talent for throwing things, and what more could you ask for? Halflings are naturally inclined towards thievery because of their skillset. Halflings are cool because they are quick, clever, and always doing something new.

Humans: Perhaps you scoff in the face of all these fantastical races. You’re already a human – why be anything different? After all, there are a lot of advantages to being human. Humans are fast learners, their short lifespans meaning that their society needs to be ready to change and adapt quickly. This means that humans are capable of anything, with no predisposition towards a particular path. They are more welcoming of other races than any other race, and generally more accepted by those races as well. Where elves and dwarves tend to blend together, humans have wildly different appearances in everything from skin color to height to sense of style. Humans are cool because they are adaptable, unique, and accepting.

Now that you know all the choices, it’s time to cast your vote! Click this link to vote in the straw poll, and I’ll announce the official results in the next edition of Super Debate Bros.

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