Guaranteed Marriage by the End of the Season

At my alma mater, the idea of “a ring by spring” is a pretty big deal. Everyone’s itching to get engaged and then married. And while for some people (like myself), marriage at the end of college is a dream that is ultimately realized, for other people it takes a little more effort to find love. Lucky for you, the video game series Harvest Moon provides some sure-proof ways to get someone to fall in love with you.

If you aren’t familiar with Harvest Moon, then here’s some info for you. You begin as a new farmer on really lousy, untamed land. It’s your job to till the land, plant stuff, grow it, sell it, and make something of yourself. Sometimes, this also involves saving the goddess of the universe. But that’s not important. Your main concern is going to be wooing the ladies or gentlemen of the nearby town.

So how do you woo someone? What techniques will allow you to fall in love and get married in as few as 28 days?

First, you have to talk to the person every single day. Find the guy you like and memorize his schedule so you know exactly how to find him when you want to talk to him. Once you approach, be sure to talk about the same subject every day. Personally, I recommend talking about whatever his job is. He spends his whole day doing it – may as well talk about it too!

Next, you need to find out what your love interest likes. There are a few different ways to do this. If you’re really lucky, she’ll just say her likes out loud. But more than likely, this step will require some subterfuge. Sneak into her bedroom while she’s not home and look through her diary. Or, if you’re a bit uncomfortable with the level of stalking that requires, go to the library or the closest government building. All of her personal information including birthday, family members, and interests will be there.

Once you find out your interest’s interests, buy him a gift. Every. Single. Day. Just do one gift a day or he’ll start to think it’s overkill. But giving him his favorite thing in the whole world every single day will show him that you’re serious, and help him to fall in love with you. No personal connection or engaging conversation needed! This step is always easier if you can make his favorite thing instead of buying it, as this does get expensive after awhile. You could settle for something lower on his list that’s more affordable, but then it may take two or even three seasons to win his heart…

If you’re keeping track of your love’s diary, you should notice that after a few weeks of constant gifts she is ready for the next step. Take a trip to the closest mountain and climb it. “Climb a mountain? That’s crazy!” Don’t be shallow. Love is worth it. Climb the nearest mountain and then comb the peak for a blue bird feather. This feather is how you’ll propose. Give it to her and promise to spend your lives together. If you’ve done all of the previous steps correctly, she’ll say yes and you’ll be married by the end of the month.

No one ever said that marriage would be easy. But with a little hard work and a lot of stalking, you’ll be ready for an amazing life with the one you love.

If you have any ideas about how to woo someone of the opposite gender (or the same one! It’s 2015, after all), post your ideas in the comments below. Just be sure they’re realistic for someone also trying to lead a fulfilling career as a farmer.

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